Thursday, August 24, 2006

A Bittersweet Reunion

My husband and I have spent almost a year apart. I celebrate our upcoming reunion, but also feel a sense of loss. I had hoped to roll through the airplane hangar with a stroller stuffed to overflowing with baby Elyana and all her accessories. Instead I'll glide through with empty arms.

I know several women who have lost babies during this deployment and know I'm not alone in my misery. I know one young lady whose 6 week old infant died, others whose pregnancies ended at 11 weeks, 10 weeks and 19 weeks. Another young mom's one year old died after a tragic accident.

This is the other ladies' first times experiencing such a life-altering experience, so a large part of me ~ the old pro ~ wants to feel like I should be "over this" and a source of strength for them by now. I should be motivating and encouraging others at all times. I should constantly be reaching out to those who are still spending most of their days in bed. I should always be a sounding board for others' complaints and concerns. I should, I should, I should ...

By golly ~ It is so hard playing Jesus!

Well, enough is enough. I'm not playing the should've-would've-could've game anymore. I'm going to live each day to the best of my ability and continue to rely on God to give me strength. I don't need His strength to be source for others. I need His strength to continue pointing others to HIM ~ the source of my joy and strength! I realize that I can't carry others' loads and shoulder my own, too. I just can't.

So ladies, if you are anything like me ... take this bit of advice: Trying to be everyone's shoulder is an impossible job. Instead, encourage others to cast their cares on the Lord.

Jesus says: Come to me, all of you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28 NIV). Now it's up to us to follow this command.


Rian said...

Thanks for reminding me that sometimes I don't have to be the shoulder to cry on, sometimes I just need the rest that Jesus offers me.

Looking forward to the book.

Sharee said...


Absolutely. I find it difficult at times to step back ... there are so many people with concerns and I want to help them all! It's exhausting trying to do a job only God can do! Thanks for visiting the site ... come again!