You may have heard the term, "self-fulfilling prophesy"? When a person repeatedly declares something, it usually becomes true - for that person. This seems to be factual for people regardless of their religious affiliation or views. The person who argues, "I can't lose weight," "I can't find a good or godly man," "I can't do this," etc. usually finds out that they are right! The same principle applies in grief work.
People will argue, "The pain never goes away," "My life will NEVER be better," "I'll never be happy again," or "I will never be a mother" ... and as she continues to speak those words into her life, it becomes true. Her joy is fleeting, she is plagued by depression, she becomes alienated as she loses friends and close relationships because her pain is so intense and no one seems to understand.
I'm not suggesting that grieving parents should say, "I'm happy" (although they could say it) when they are not. I am encouraging parents to reframe their words so that they don't trigger such a negative outcome.
Instead of: "The pain will never go away"
Try: "I don't know how this pain will be relieved"
Instead of: "I'll always be depressed"
Try: "I feel depressed right now"
Instead of: "No one understands"
Try: "I want to find someone who understands"
Instead of: "I'll never be a mother/father"
Try: "I want to be a mother/father!"
If you doubt the power of words reflect on this:
God SPOKE all of creation into existence. If you
invited God to live inside of you, doesn't that mean you also can speak some things into existence??
Share your thoughts.