Saturday, October 09, 2010


There's a difference between clinical depression and the intense sadness you get after your baby is gone. Medical professionals often try to medicate a mom who is experiencing sadness just 6 months later. Being sad for a year is normal! Parents (sadly) have to stare grief in the face and work through the whirl of intense emotions that go along with it. I'll tell ya what. Unless a mom is willing to stay on anti-depressants forever, that grief is going to be waiting once the last artificial hormone leaves her body.

My advice to you

  • Survive the tough days, weeks, and months ahead by setting aside time each day to grieve. Let yourself really feel the hurt and channel it through exercise, writing, prayer, shouting - whatever provides a release.
  • Cast off anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness. These are black reactions that block healing and hinder your prayers.
  • Search out any happy or hope-filled thought and cling to it. Thoughts about your tragedy do invade many peaceful moments ... it is hard to quell those longings to hold your precious baby in your arms, but it's also true that meditating on these painful thoughts does not make you feel well. If it is indeed wellness you seek, heed my advice, friend!
  • Find at least one person who has walked a mile in your shoes and who has learned to live a full and joy-filled life (ahem ... my contact info is printed on this blog ... but there are others!)
  • Find a purpose for living that is larger than your immediate family. There is a hurting world outside of your four walls, step out there, look around and help a person or group in need. You'll be amazed at how deeply your broken heart will be affected - for the better!
  • Write. Write every fear, emotion, and reaction. Write about everything or nothing. Here's a previous post about how writing and words  heal.
  • Check out my YouTube video on the signs and symptoms  of depression.
As a side note, here's an article I found today that talks about some surprising signs that often go unnoticed.



Cece said...

I have just started to allow myself to be sad when it hits me, and Nora died 10 months ago. It's hard - but I have the happiness from her twin and my son... but I was trying to ignore the nagging saddness. I've started acknowledging it, and it really helps!


Sharee said...

Hi Cece,

I think the hard part of grief is in those moments when we choose not to be busy distracting ourselves from the pain. We need to let ourselves feel, then we can truly heal. Glad you've found this helpful as well!