Thursday, February 01, 2007

Miscarriage Misconceptions

In countless discussions with those who haven't had the painful experience of miscarriage or infant loss, I've heard people (even from those who've actually had miscarriages) share common misconceptions.

Because you worked out, had sex, ate poorly, had a drink, had a smoke, lifted a toddler, scared the baby, didn't want to be pregnant, had stress, etc. your baby died.

Recovery from miscarriage is as simple as "just getting over it."

The level of pain a parent feels is dependent on the baby's gestation before he died.

Having another baby will just make a parent simply forget about the pain of her present loss.

The death of a baby is the same as any other loss (death of friend, pet, grandparent, etc.).

A miscarriage that happens before you feel the baby moving wasn't even a baby.

After a miscarriage the grieving parent welcomes any and all pregnancy and infertility advice/explanations (especially if that parent has experienced multiple miscarriages).

Someone is to blame for the miscarriage... it's either the parent or God.

Not many women experience miscarriage.

Women who have one miscarriage are more likely to experience another one.

For more information about miscarriage, its causes, symptoms and treatments visit the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists Web site here. Be sure to check out the list of known causes and note that none of the misconceptions mentioned in MM#1 are listed!


Anonymous said...

After having a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy in back to back months, I got a "get well" card from my mother. I was horrified. Not even a phone call. It has been 4 years and I still cry when I think of how traumatic that time was. I hope others won't make such insensitive mistakes!

Anonymous said...

It is amazing to see how many of these myths I have heard in daily life concerning miscarriage.

How sad that your mother (anonymous) was so stand-offish. I am sure she didnt know how to behave. My husband's grandmother refers to our newest addition to the family as "the first great grandchild", because she feels that bringing up our firstborn who died will hurt us.