Thursday, December 21, 2006

Banishing Negativity

I think a situation that many bereaved parents will face is a pregnancy after a loss (or losses). Is it possible to experience a season of joy and celebration without the negativity or anxiety?

I mean, we can't forget the past, but we can choose not to meditate on it, right? I've been reading through the book of Mark and am amazed at many people's simple faith. Throughout the book of Mark, Jesus tells people over and over ... don't fear, just believe ... your faith has made you whole ... ask, believe and you will receive. And he says we must have faith as a mustard seed, meaning once planted and nurtured it will grow exponentially.

When we're faced with uncertain situations like a pregnancy after loss, we can take the doctor's words, our bad memories and fears as a grain of salt. We can stand tall and full of joy knowing that God will answer our requests. Oh, this is easier said than done.

Many of you have read my story ... three babies all between 24-25 weeks - died - within a three year period. Today is the first day I'm sharing that I am pregnant a fourth time. In this pregnancy, I'm approaching the same point where I've experienced loss before.

You know what? I'm not giving in to the fear. I'm choosing to enjoy each day. I've given this baby to God months ago and I refuse to take him or her back. As long as I think my baby's survival hinges on my own effort ... that I have a bit of control over his or her life, there is room for anxiety (followed by misery!).

I'm happy to share that I do have peace and faith that I will hear my baby's first cry and I'll experience many, many years of such crying!

How I banish negative thinking

  • Each day I make a simple choice: I will not compare this pregnancy to my last three. This IS a unique experience and the Most High God is protecting my child.
  • I ask God to help me believe, when I feel in doubt. I also share my feelings (and fears) with trusted people who believe as I do. They encourage my faith and discourage doubts and negativity.
  • I don't listen to those who want to share their fears with me about this pregnancy.
  • I believe in the power of words, I will not allow myself to go on-and-on about the past.
(I'll share more later)

2 comments:

Blue said...

Sharee what amazing news! I will continue to think positively for you. Wishing you all the best this Christmas and Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

Sharee, I am so glad you have found positivity and hope throughout your experiences. I (we) have not lost any children, but reading your comments/exerpts makes me realize how much I need to appreciate and love my own. May God Bless you and your husband. Take Care - Ray c/o '94