There is no perfect formula for healing because each person grieves in a unique way. Although healing comes at different times and in different ways, you can't go wrong by doing these three things:
1. Develop your faith
2. Cling to your joy
3. Praise God
Developing faith
I firmly believe that true healing comes when God is at the center. I had to build a foundation of faith before trials arrived, so that I was less likely to turn from the Healer. When Christopher and then Kasimir died, I fell to pieces. I had done little to nurture a relationship with Jesus, and I didn't know what the Bible said, so I couldn't even cling onto those promises.
I have found that faith is developed through prayer (ask God for faith), Bible study and hearing the Word of God. After hearing the Word I had to apply it to my life. I couldn't grow without both hearing and doing. Although I easily heard the Word on the Internet and through spiritual CDs, I found it was best live and from the pulpit. I also had at least one faith-filled friend to encourage me in times of doubt. After our third child died, and when facing the roller coaster of a fourth pregnancy ... I was able to lean confidently on the Lord.
Cling to your joy
The enemy knows that the joy of the Lord is the believer's strength. If he can successfully steal our hope, joy and love ... he can easily defeat us! Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit ... so if one has the Holy Spirit living on the inside, it is next to impossible to stay in a depressed, defeated, hopeless state of mind. Ask God to fill you with His Spirit and renew your joy. When you get it, never let it go!
Praise God
I have learned that if I am believing God for any miracle (for me it was a live, healthy baby) ... I have got to open my mouth, lift my hands and voice and give Him praise! I must praise Him even when I don't feel like it (and it is hard to "give thanks" when feeling destroyed and disappointed after a loss). My advice: Don't wait to the battle is over, praise God now. For when the praises go up, the blessings truly do come down.
Praise activates our blessings ... just take a peek through the many examples of praise equaling victory throughout the Bible.
I stand as a living witness that growing spiritually in these areas will do wonders for healing your pain. I am a woman who has longed for a baby for 5 years. I've experienced hurt and devastation that few can imagine ... but God has healed my heart and provided countless miracles for our family (including the birth of a healthy baby boy). The same can happen for you!
See for yourself. Take a risk, turn to the Lord (right now) and He will answer your prayers.