Sometimes it is quite difficult to grab ahold of hope that you can have that rainbow baby despite seemingly insurmountable odds. When I had three back-to-back late-term losses, I only knew of one person who had suffered through something similar. Now I know two people. Finding and learning from those who have experienced such tremendous grief was greatly encouraging for me. I pray that you too will find encouragment if you have an incompetent cervix and have not found the answers you seek. Here's one woman's story.
Samone had written her story in my book Stolen Angels, but when the book went to print she had lost one precious baby. I like to stay in touch with the writers, and when I learned that this dear woman had lost a second daughter at around the same gestation and in the same way as her first loss, my heart cried out for her! Recently she contacted me, and had this amazing news to share:
"Hi Sharee. Please share my MIRACLE! I would like for women to know that if they have lost a baby (or babies) due to incompetent cervix, there is HOPE. I believe that the Lord placed me here in _____________ for a reason, although I don't like it here. Had it not been for my being placed here and coming across an obstetrician who looked at my history, LISTENED to me and referred me to me to a perinatologist, I probably would not have had my miracle baby. If anyone should contact you, wanting to know about the transabdominal cerclage, please let me know!"
Samone has welcomed a little boy into her family in March 2011 and is available to tell of her experiences with the abdominal cerclage ... just shoot me an email and I'll forward to her. I'm on yahoo ... momax3angels. You can also read the first part of her journey in Stolen Angels beginning on page 133.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Back on!
I can't believe I haven't posted since the beginning of November! I must admit that I have been pretty bummed out since that time. I've always been a huge voice (in my mind anyway!) for not letting grief rule, but folks, I must admit that there are some things the mind - the heart - cannot forget!
November 18, 2005 my little girl was born still. Since that horrific time I had gone on to publish a book, facilitate a support group, do guest speaking events, sit on panels, volunteer at the hospital - and more. Nope not an opportunity to brag, but just trying to say that I earnestly believed I was done hurting and had moved forward to accept what had happened especially since so many lives were changed in a positive way. (I also had two infant losses in 2002 and 2003).
But wow. November 2010 brought with it a deep sadness that had me crying all the time, sad, unmotivated ... I hate to give it a name, but seriously, I was depressed! Later in the month I found out I was unexpectedly expecting. Yes. Unexpectedly expecting! Instead of the joy I would expect (especially after YEARS of baby craving) I was devastated. I was scared. I just couldn't fathom how I would endure the needles, the contractions, the cerclage, the months of uncertainty, the lifestyle change, the c-section ... all so soon. I wanted another baby, but think I was leaning more toward adoption, but here I was - pregnant. And guilty. I felt deep shame. I wondered how could I be so ungrateful?? This was a blessing and here I was crying into my pillow every chance I could get.
Today is a new day. The depression fog has lifted and I'm back on. I am really really really looking forward to sharing words of encouragement again! I missed you!
Hugs!
November 18, 2005 my little girl was born still. Since that horrific time I had gone on to publish a book, facilitate a support group, do guest speaking events, sit on panels, volunteer at the hospital - and more. Nope not an opportunity to brag, but just trying to say that I earnestly believed I was done hurting and had moved forward to accept what had happened especially since so many lives were changed in a positive way. (I also had two infant losses in 2002 and 2003).
But wow. November 2010 brought with it a deep sadness that had me crying all the time, sad, unmotivated ... I hate to give it a name, but seriously, I was depressed! Later in the month I found out I was unexpectedly expecting. Yes. Unexpectedly expecting! Instead of the joy I would expect (especially after YEARS of baby craving) I was devastated. I was scared. I just couldn't fathom how I would endure the needles, the contractions, the cerclage, the months of uncertainty, the lifestyle change, the c-section ... all so soon. I wanted another baby, but think I was leaning more toward adoption, but here I was - pregnant. And guilty. I felt deep shame. I wondered how could I be so ungrateful?? This was a blessing and here I was crying into my pillow every chance I could get.
Today is a new day. The depression fog has lifted and I'm back on. I am really really really looking forward to sharing words of encouragement again! I missed you!
Hugs!
Saturday, November 06, 2010
More Teachable Moments
This is the obituary of a young women who lived her entire - almost 26 year old life - struggling to breathe. It would be hard to disagree that no one could blame her if she chose to take what was left of her life and live it out as a bitter person full of "what if's" and stories of her pain. She did not. I've copied her obituary below ... now Google her name -Eva Dien Markvoort - and get inspired! She recorded her last days in a YouTube video. I encourage you to watch it and learn something valuable. Tragedy has hit your family, but as long as you have breath (even painful breath) you can LIVE!
Eva's Obituary
Eva Dien Brine Markvoort … what a life! She lived passionately, with purpose, and died on Saturday, March 27, 2010. She left a legacy of love and made a difference in the lives of thousands of people both in her personal life and in her online community. Eva’s life, almost 26 years long, was defined by her challenges related to cystic fibrosis. She knew how to live for the moment and her magnetic personality drew people in at every turn. Eva took nothing for granted and she had no time for complainers. Her life was full of vibrant moments and she appreciated all the beautiful aspects of her surroundings, constantly adjusting to the limitations presented by her health. Eva filled every room she entered, she engaged herself in the present and she learned to turn the most challenging situations into positive experiences. She was a force! Eva has enriched the lives of her parents, Janet Brine and Bill Markvoort, her siblings Annie and Hunter, her loving extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins, and her dearest core ‘team’. Eva's family expresses their gratitude for the tremendous support provided by friends, family, neighbours, colleagues, the medical team, and Eva's online community.
Eva's blog chronicled her life: http://65redroses.livejournal.com/2010/04/07/
Eva's Obituary
Eva Dien Brine Markvoort … what a life! She lived passionately, with purpose, and died on Saturday, March 27, 2010. She left a legacy of love and made a difference in the lives of thousands of people both in her personal life and in her online community. Eva’s life, almost 26 years long, was defined by her challenges related to cystic fibrosis. She knew how to live for the moment and her magnetic personality drew people in at every turn. Eva took nothing for granted and she had no time for complainers. Her life was full of vibrant moments and she appreciated all the beautiful aspects of her surroundings, constantly adjusting to the limitations presented by her health. Eva filled every room she entered, she engaged herself in the present and she learned to turn the most challenging situations into positive experiences. She was a force! Eva has enriched the lives of her parents, Janet Brine and Bill Markvoort, her siblings Annie and Hunter, her loving extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins, and her dearest core ‘team’. Eva's family expresses their gratitude for the tremendous support provided by friends, family, neighbours, colleagues, the medical team, and Eva's online community.
Eva's blog chronicled her life: http://65redroses.livejournal.com/2010/04/07/
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